For years I've heard that those booby mousepads are actually really good for a person with carpal tunnel syndrome but didn't decide to test that knowledge because I don't want to buy a booby mousepad that would make me some sort of sex pervert, I was raised Catholic I'm a good boy not a sex pervert. But earlier this year I bought a Gigan body pillow as a joke only to find out body pillows are actually really comfortable sleep aids, so... so I bought one... I bought a booby mousepad.

...and my wrist feels so much better when I'm using it.

How many other comforts and aids have I forsaken because they're embarrassingly horny? How many discomforts have I endured purely out of a societal shame about expressing anything sexual? This world is fucked man.

For those curious why exactly this is, it's because booby mousepads are pretty much the only ergonomic mousepads which still use silicone gel. Basically everything else has switched to either air-filled memory foam or a cured silicone rubber – like the kind used in silicone bakeware – because it's not prone to springing leaks and oozing everywhere; unfortunately, it also doesn't work nearly as well.

(In theory, if you're not a fan of boobs you could get a silicone gel wrist pad without the booby design. In practice, good fucking luck; consumer fraud is rampant in non-prescription medical and assistive devices, and the overwhelming majority of non-booby mousepads which claim to use silicone gel are straight up lying – what you actually receive if you order one will be air-filled memory foam or solid rubber at least 80% of time, regardless of what the product description says.)

AUTISM RULES.

tumblr guilt trippers: reblog this post or DIE!

me, an immortal sword master, wandering the world in pursuit of a worthy foe: ...is it you? the one who will grant me my end? ...i hope so

the term "i love to boggy" will now be incapable of leaving my lexicon anytime soon

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

everyone likes to talk about fucked up joke spells like "super brain hemmorage" and "fill lungs with water" but i let my players make spells once theyre a certain level and my sorceror just sent me this text

kentuckygender is when you aren't a girl but you still are somehow a horse girl

Someday I'm gonna open a free seminar on "How To Identify A Liar Or A Thief On Sight" and once the seats are all full I'm gonna open up a PowerPoint and the first slide is gonna just say "You Can't"

like yeah there are some highly effective methods of spotting when someone is lying to your face or planning to pocket something but absolutely none of them are as simple as "refusing eye contact" or "Fidgeting" or "Being homeless" or "Using narcotics" and if you genuinely believe that every single red flag is 100% reliable then what you're doing is actually called Profiling and not only is it unreliable but it's also kind of shitty

MYTHS AND FACTS:

MYTH: Unusual eye contact indicates dishonesty

Strong eye contact is a sign of respect and earnestness in some cultures. It's also a sign or disrespect and defiance in others. Some people change their normal eye contact patterns when they're nervous- but are they nervous of being caught, or of being falsely accused? Neuroatypical people may not instinctively guage how much eye contact is expected or appropriate, or may find that too much or too little eye contact is painful or distracting. This is not a useful meter by which to judge strangers.

MYTH: Twitching and fidgeting is a sign of a guilty conscience

There are a lot of reasons why someone might make sporadic movements like twitching, fidgeting, hand wringing, flapping, bouncing, etc. These can be self-soothing gestures, tics, stims, palsies, disorders, or spasms, and can be due to medical conditions, illnesses, or drug use. None of these things are definitive signs of dishonesty.

TRUTH: You can sometimes spot a lie by lying.

If you wash the dishes, then thank someone for washing the dishes, and they accept the praise, it could be that they're in the habit of lying about that sort of thing, and are caught in that they don't know that you know.

Or, alternatively, they may have a memory issue, or may misunderstand, or may have washed other dishes earlier in the day. They may just not be listening or fully understanding what you've said. Maybe they habitually doubt themselves, or maybe they're trying to appease you.

BUT, I you have enough of your variables covered, a well-placed lie can sometimes, SOMETIMES, catch someone else in one of their own.

This is a difficult method to use on people you aren't familiar with, though, and even if it's someone you know pretty well, it's an incredibly damaging thing to dive into with full confidence- it's manipulative, really, and given that there's a non-zero chance that you're just wrong, I don't reccomend it

TRUTH: The most reliable way to spot a lie is by gathering evidence.

People do all kinds of odd things for all kinds of weird reasons. The easiest and most accurate way to spot a liar or a thief is to observe and record them doing something, then ask them about it, and observe them declare a conflicting statement of events. Only then, after proving that they are of sound mind with full faculties and awareness of their actions, you can safely conclude that they are lying.

Which is part of what makes it so hard.

You cannot record someone without their consent, and being willing to do so over small stakes is.... sort of a weirdly obsessive thing to do, and not something I'd be willing to support unless someone is in physical, mental, or financial danger.

TRUTH:

Every kind of person lies, cheats, and steals, and the ones you watch are the ones you catch.